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Most people in recovery remember what first kept them sober. It may have been a judge, a treatment program or a loved one. Though one may wonder if that same support still helps four years later.
Timothy A. McCarthy, writing in the Catholic Review last month, drew on 35 years of experience in counseling people struggling with addiction. He found that recovery typically begins when accountability and hope come together.
He notes that either one alone can limit one’s recovery. The combination matters for staying sober in the long-term.
The Detail That Carries the Argument
McCarthy discussed a client whom he refers to as David Abraham to protect his privacy. Abraham entered treatment facing potential jail time and went on to build a stable life.
His steps were simple. He deleted his dealers’ numbers and avoided places where he used to get drugs. He also regularly attended AA or NA meetings and began repairing his family relationships.
A year in he was steady enough to speak about his recovery publicly. Fifteen months after that, McCarthy ran into him. He was still sober and working a professional job.
McCarthy notes that Abraham still thanked his parole officer at meetings years after there was no longer legal pressure. He credited the officer with helping him get sober.
That is not gratitude for coercion. It is what it looks like when one internalizes external structure gets and the person keeps the memory of it on purpose.
What Accountability Looks Like After the First Year
The mistake is thinking accountability is only needed in the beginning of recovery. McCarthy’s account suggests the need remains but the form that it’s given changes.
Early on it is usually imposed. A court date, a treatment plan or a family member checking your eyes when you walk in.
Later, you choose it, which makes it easier to let go. It might be a sponsor you call regularly, a home group where people notice when you are gone, a sponsee who relies on you or a partner who can tell when you are having a hard week.
Repairing relationships is part of this too, and it has no end date. Making amends is one step. Being someone your family can count on is ongoing accountability because they see whether you follow through.
Hope Is the Other Half
Accountability without hope leads to short-term compliance. McCarthy says both are needed.
He cites the CDC estimate that 69,973 people died from overdose in 2025, a provisional figure, and notes that overdose deaths have declined recently. His concern is that when the losses are the only thing anyone counts, people conclude there is no way back.
The hope half of the equation is not optimism as a mood. It is having concrete evidence in front of you that people with histories like yours are living the life you are trying to live. That evidence tends to be in the rooms rather than the headlines.
Accountability Built Into AA
AA builds accountability into its structure. A sponsor knows how you are really doing. Step work is done with another person, making Steps Four through Nine harder to avoid. A home group also means people notice when you stop showing up.
Sobriety milestones and chips serve a similar purpose. They publicly mark your progress among people who understand how hard it can be.
How to Stay Sober With Structure You Choose
Here are three practical things to consider with staying sober through structure you choose.
Finding AA Meetings and Support
AA meetings run in person and online. Formats include speaker meetings and Big Book study and step meetings. There’s also beginners meetings and groups for women, men, veterans and LGBTQ+ members. They are free and require no registration.
Sober.com’s directory lists AA meetings by state and city with details on format, day, time and whether a meeting is open or closed. Call
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to speak with a treatment specialist.
Peter W.Y. Lee is a writer and historian of American history. His primary focus is on the Cold War era. His academic work examines the relationship between youth and popular culture and its impact on U.S. society during the twentieth century.
View ProfileEric Owens is a writer and editor with a bachelor degree in Philosophy, which has helped him with presenting complex information in a simple way that all audiences can understand. He specializes in the mental health and addiction recovery space. He’s also passionate about the environment and has extensive experience in creating content related to sustainability issues
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