There is no single right way to get sober. What works for one person may not work for another, and the support you need can also change over time.
Still, hearing from people who have already walked this path can make the next step feel less overwhelming. So we asked members of our sober community to share their best advice for getting sober.
Their answers include practical reminders about taking sobriety one day at a time, finding the right support, being patient with yourself, and realizing that you do not need to reach rock bottom before making a change.
Whether you are sober curious, newly sober, or simply thinking about your relationship with alcohol, we hope these perspectives offer encouragement and remind you that you are not alone.
You Do Not Have to Wait for Rock Bottom
One of the most important pieces of advice for getting sober is that you do not need to wait until alcohol has destroyed your life.
Rachel Van Dolsen spent years questioning her relationship with drinking. Her advice is to stop comparing your experience with anyone else’s and pay attention to what alcohol is doing in your own life.
“You don’t have to wait until alcohol has destroyed your life. And you don’t have to prove your problem is worse than anyone else’s. The line between this is fine and this is a problem is almost entirely internal, and only you can draw it for yourself.
What are you drinking to avoid? What are you trying not to feel?
Also, you don’t have to solve forever today. Try one day. Then thirty. Then sixty. Once the fog of shame starts to lift, it will be much harder to go back to your old way of living.”
Instead of asking whether your drinking is “bad enough,” consider whether alcohol is helping you live the life you actually want.
Find People Who Make Sobriety Look Possible
Sobriety can feel frightening when you imagine it as a life of restriction. However, being around people who are genuinely enjoying alcohol-free life can change that picture completely.
“Getting sober sucks, staying sober is fucking awesome. Find people who are living their lives fully while sober. Don’t listen to anyone who says it makes life duller.
And remind yourself, if alcohol actually fixed anything, you’d be somewhere else by now.”
Hannah’s advice is simple: look for evidence that a full, interesting life without alcohol is possible.
The people around you can shape what sobriety looks like in your mind. Therefore, finding supportive people who are genuinely enjoying their lives can make a meaningful difference.
Give Sobriety Time to Work
The early days can be uncomfortable. Sleep, emotions, relationships, and daily routines may not improve overnight.
Through Sober Eyes encourages people to notice small changes instead of expecting everything to become perfect immediately.
“There will still be good days and bad days, happy days and sad days. But overall, things improve. Relationships mend. Sleep gets better. Your body starts to recover.
Don’t rush the process or expect everything to be fixed right away. Enjoy the journey, notice the small changes, and look forward to even more good things ahead.
Give yourself time—and let the good things happen.”
Progress may arrive gradually. Better mornings, calmer relationships, deeper sleep, or simply getting through a difficult evening without drinking can all be meaningful signs of change.
Take Sobriety One Day at a Time
Thinking about never drinking again can feel overwhelming, especially in early sobriety.
Sue McWilliams recommends focusing on today, while also finding people and resources that genuinely support you.
“I remember being at meetings and hearing some of the old timers talk. One in particular would always say that being sober has given him a life beyond anything he could hope for.
In the beginning, I didn’t understand what he meant. But I kept going to meetings and taking it one day at a time. I can say that I have a life beyond what I could have hoped for.
The journey hasn’t been a straight line. All I can say is you can keep moving forward one day at a time.
If you choose AA, find a couple of meetings that resonate with you or move on. If you don’t think AA is for you, then find people who are on the same journey and keep them close.
Don’t be afraid to get professional help; I have, and it has been so beneficial.”
There is no requirement to follow one particular recovery path. AA may help some people, while others find support through therapy, treatment, peer groups, friends, family, or other recovery communities.
What matters is finding support that helps you keep moving forward.
Believe That Life Can Become Bigger
When alcohol has become central to daily life, imagining something better can be difficult.
Steve Munro encourages people to believe that sobriety may open possibilities they cannot yet see.
“Believe in the unbelievable. If you haven’t yet progressed to the physical addiction state, then you likely still see alcohol as an enabler. If you have, then you know that it’s not, but you can’t imagine a way out of the cycle.
In either case, true sobriety will free you to accomplish and experience things you can’t currently imagine.
Do the hard work—the really hard stuff. You’ll need to dismantle the worst of you to free the best of you. Be kind to your current self—you’re a work in progress.”
Recovery can involve difficult work. At the same time, it can create room for experiences, relationships, and possibilities that may have seemed unreachable while drinking.
When Things Get Hard, Keep Going
Difficult days do not mean that sobriety is failing.
Greg Downs often speaks at treatment centers. The message he carries with him is deliberately simple:
“I speak at a lot of treatment centers in the area, and I always wear a hat that says ‘Keep going.’
Someone told me once, ‘If you’re going through hell, don’t stop,’ and that just really stuck with me.
Life is full of ups and downs, but a drink will never make it better.”
Some moments in recovery are uncomfortable. However, discomfort passes. Returning to alcohol does not make the underlying problem disappear.
Give Yourself Permission to Try
You do not need absolute certainty before exploring an alcohol-free life. Sometimes the first step is simply giving yourself permission to see what happens.
“If you’ve read this far and you are sober curious, this is what you need to know: you are worthy to give it a try.
You are worthy of a big, beautiful life.
Give yourself 30 days. If you can honestly say your life is worse after 30 days alcohol-free, then drinking will always be there for you to return to. It’s not going anywhere.
It’s hard to drink, and it’s hard to stop drinking—pick your hard.”
A short alcohol-free period can give you space to notice changes in your sleep, mood, relationships, energy, and sense of control.
You do not have to make every future decision today.
7 Pieces of Advice for Getting Sober
Although every recovery journey is different, several themes appear repeatedly in these stories:
- Do not wait for a dramatic rock bottom before making a change.
- Find sober people whose lives inspire you.
- Give yourself time to experience the benefits of sobriety.
- Focus on one day rather than trying to solve forever.
- Seek support that works for you, including professional help when needed.
- Remember that difficult days do not mean you are failing.
- Give yourself permission to try an alcohol-free life.
Most importantly, your path does not need to look like anyone else’s.
What helps today may also change later. Recovery can evolve with you.
What Advice Helped You Get Sober?
If you are already sober, what helped you most in the beginning?
Was it advice from a friend, a meeting, professional support, a book, or something you discovered for yourself?
Share your experience in the comments. Your perspective may be exactly what someone who is considering sobriety needs to hear today.
About Dr. Dana Leigh Lyons
Dr. Dana Leigh Lyons, DTCM is a Doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine offering heart-sourced guidance on body-mind-spirit wellness. She manages Sober App Substack and writes PERFECT HUNGER, a newsletter devoted to living a more beautiful, nourishing life.
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