“Life is full of ups and downs, but a drink will never make it better.”
When and how did you get sober?
An arrest on August 5, 2024, changed the direction of my life. What began
with six unmarked police cars in my driveway eventually led me to AA,
community, repaired relationships, and a new sense of purpose.
This is how jail became the turning point for my sobriety and taught me that
I did not have to face recovery alone.
How Did Your Sobriety Journey Begin?
My sobriety date is August 5, 2024.
That morning, police arrested me in my front driveway. There were six
unmarked cars, neighbors watching, and my wife in tears telling me she loved
me.
As they placed me in the back of one of the vehicles, my heart raced. During
the 30-minute journey to jail, my hands were slick with sweat.
I felt embarrassed and ashamed, but I knew I could not show it once I
arrived.
Inside one of the jail cells, I found a business card printed with the Bible
verse Jeremiah 29:11:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
The sense of peace that came over me in that moment is difficult to explain.
As it turned out, my cellmate had been sober for 10 years. We began attending
Alcoholics Anonymous meetings together inside the jail.
During one meeting, a man completing a Hospitals and Institutions commitment
shared a story that was strikingly similar to mine.
I approached him afterward and learned that he regularly attended meetings
at a clubhouse less than five minutes from my home.
After six months in jail, I arrived at that clubhouse wearing an ankle
monitor. I raised my hand and asked for help.
As they say, the rest is history.
What Was Your Turning Point for Sobriety?
Sitting in that jail cell was my turning point.
I had built my career as a financial advisor to ultra-high-net-worth clients
in Palm Beach. The sudden transition from boardrooms to jail cells left me at
a crossroads.
Before my arrest, I had tried to stop drinking many times.
I would attend an AA meeting, collect a white chip, and then go directly to a
bar. I probably repeated that pattern 20 times.
Until the final months of my drinking, I had convinced myself that alcohol
had not caused any serious consequences.
Then, within eight months, everything collapsed. There was an affair, a lost
job, two suicide attempts, and complete alienation from our local community.
Those months were pure hell.
After the arrest, I knew that without a real change, I would continue moving
in and out of jail cells.
For the first time, I decided to give sobriety an honest chance.
What Surprised You Most About Getting Sober?
The biggest surprise was the recovery community.
For years, I believed I was the only person dealing with experiences like
mine.
Both of my parents died when I was in my early 30s. My brother is serving a
prison sentence for DUI manslaughter.
I did not have anyone around me who could relate. None of my friends had lost
both parents or had an immediate family member in prison.
As soon as I entered the rooms of AA, I met people who understood.
One woman even has a sister serving almost the exact same prison sentence as
my brother, down to the day.
A placard at the clubhouse I attend reads:
You are not alone.
I needed to know that.
I needed to hear how other people had faced grief, shame, loss, and family
trauma without picking up a drink.
Nearly two years into sobriety, I still need those reminders today.
What Has Been Your Biggest Challenge in Sobriety?
My biggest challenge has been learning that it is acceptable to feel bad.
For most of my life, my goal was to feel good all the time. I chased a
permanent feeling of relief or happiness through every drink.
Sobriety taught me that uncomfortable emotions eventually pass.
In fact, all emotions pass.
I often return to the acronym HOPE:
Hang
On
Pain
Ends
When I give myself time, call someone, read, meditate, or pray, the
transition becomes easier.
I now have tools for difficult moments that I did not have while drinking.
What Are the Greatest Benefits of Sobriety?
One of the greatest gifts has been repairing my relationship with my wife.
I caused serious damage during my drinking. I was in rehabilitation during
our 15th wedding anniversary, and I was in jail for my wife’s 40th birthday.
Those were not ideal moments to miss.
Today, I believe our relationship is stronger than it has ever been.
Another recent gift is that one of my wife’s sisters has started attending
meetings with me and is beginning her own sobriety journey.
Sobriety has also allowed me to align my work with my recovery.
For years, I focused almost entirely on money, status, and achievement, even
though I was miserable.
I eventually realized that I had been climbing a ladder that was leaning
against the wrong wall.
Today, my career gives me a sense of purpose that I never had before.
What Advice Would You Give Someone Considering Sobriety?
I speak at many treatment centers in the area, and I always wear a hat that
says:
Keep going.
Someone once told me:
“If you’re going through hell, don’t stop.”
That message stayed with me.
Life will always contain highs and lows. Difficult feelings, setbacks, and
painful seasons are unavoidable.
But a drink will never make them better.
What Helped You Reach Your Turning Point?
Recovery began when I stopped trying to handle everything alone.
A sober cellmate, AA meetings in jail, a stranger with a similar story, and a
clubhouse near my home all helped guide me toward asking for support.
My life did not change because I suddenly had every answer. It changed
because I finally raised my hand and admitted that I needed help.
That first honest request became the beginning of a different life.
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