My Sobriety Story with Kat

“How do you want to live your new life?”

This series showcases personal stories of addiction recovery and sobriety. Today’s edition features Kat Whetstone, a freelance writer who covers hockey, sobriety, and neurodivergence. She is the creator of Hockey in Heels, a blog devoted to covering all sides of the hockey world from a queer woman’s point of view (particularly the Columbus Blue Jackets), and High Functioning, a blog focused on her recovery journey and late autism diagnosis. She is also the co-founder of Sunshine and Hockey, which breaks down hockey headlines from the perspective of queer, neurodivergent people. Her debut book, Manic Autistic Dream Girl, releases on Amazon on April 22, 2026. You can find Kat on social media at @hockeyinheels.

When and how did you get sober?

I got sober on March 17, 2025 after a week of binge-drinking. I had been in AA before this for about six months—I knew that when I started drinking, I couldn’t stop. I was 21 at the time, living a dream life: I was living two miles away from an NHL arena, in college, working as a beat reporter (for the non-sports people: a beat reporter is someone who covers a team), close friends, et cetera.

I had something traumatic happen to me at one of my hockey writing jobs. I got super drunk, and when a friend called me, I pretended to be sober on the phone. I kept drinking for a week out of shame. I couldn’t stop. I remember it was my spring break from college at the time, and I spent the entire time either drunk or hungover.

I knew then that it was time for me to get sober. I needed outside help to do it, and that’s what I did. I went to inpatient treatment for what was thought of as depression (it was severe autistic burnout), moved home, and started outpatient treatment. Then, about eight months into my sobriety, when my life began to calm down, I decided that I felt dry, not actually sober, so I went back into a 12-Step program via Zoom and got a new sponsor. After that, I felt better than I had in a very long time.

What was the turning point in your decision to get sober?

As a writer and journalist, I’m tempted to pinpoint One Big Specific Moment, One Big Turning Point when everything suddenly changed.

Life doesn’t quite work like that, I’ve learned.

If I had to pinpoint one specific moment, it was probably pretending to be sober on the phone, curled up in the fetal position in my friend’s bathroom, as my work friend on the phone was telling me information that was awful to hear. Or having a different friend tell me I drank too much compared to normal people. Or how angry I was all the time.

I don’t think I have a Big Moment. But there were lots of moments that played a role in my sobriety.

What surprised you about getting sober?

I get surprised by something new every day in sobriety. I think the biggest one has been realizing I’m autistic and ADHD. After I got sober the first time, my therapist and one of my closest friends, who’s also AuDHD, told me, “We think you’re autistic.” I’d had my own suspicions for a while (someone had told me to read Fern Brady’s book, and I related so much to it), but the process seemed so daunting that I didn’t know where to start.

After I got sober the second time, I started the process for a diagnosis at the age of 21. Sure enough, I’m autistic and I have inattentive ADHD. My alcoholism was how I masked for a few years of my life. It was how I pretended to be “normal” when I felt like I couldn’t pass.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve encountered on your alcohol-free journey?

Honestly, life. Dealing with other people. Dealing with myself. I’m not a saint by any stretch of the imagination. I still think about myself more than I probably should. I still get irritated and deeply annoyed with other people.

I want to be someone who actively contributes to the greater good—that goes into emotional sobriety and what it means to live sober.

So I try to not take myself—and others—so seriously, and I’ve gotten a lot better about giving people grace. (Giving myself grace… I’m still working on that.) I work the Steps every day, try to reach out to my sober community, and try my damn best to be the best version of myself I can be.

What are the biggest benefits or gifts of sobriety?

The presence of life. My mind still races, especially because of the ADHD, but I can be much more present now. I wake up in the morning, and I’m present. I wake up in the morning, do the Eleventh Step prayer to the Universe, do a gratitude list, and feel completely at peace with myself. I don’t feel the pressure to perform like I used to, when I was undiagnosed. I know that if I wasn’t sober, I wouldn’t have been able to get that diagnosis to adequately understand myself.

I’m also a very positive and grateful person. I’m a realist, but I look on the bright side of life much more than I did when I was drinking. I legitimately know how to feel things now. A part of autism, for me, is alexithymia, which is the inability to identify emotions properly. Growing up, I assumed everyone was mad at me, all the time. Now, I know how to feel happiness. I know how to feel sadness or actual anger. I’ve gotten a lot better at being able to identify how I feel. I genuinely like myself these days, and I trust myself, and that’s all I can really ask for.

What words of advice would you give someone who’s considering sobriety or newly sober?

First of all, welcome and congratulations! You’re doing one of the hardest, bravest things a person can imagine doing.

There’s absolutely nothing that drinking won’t make worse. When I want to drink, I do the thing that people in AA talk about—“playing the tape forward.” I know that drinking is an active choice I make, and I actively choose not to drink by playing the tape forward and knowing the consequences of it.

Sobriety is the opposite of boring. In less than a year of sobriety, I’ve written a book. I’ve started two new blogs, one of which is with my best friend. I wouldn’t have had the courage to do that if I was still drinking. I’m learning yoga. I want to get back out on the rink soon and skate. I laugh a lot more now. I embrace myself—even the hard parts of myself, or parts that I struggle to like—rather than running and hiding from it.

Early recovery is hard—keep yourself busy. I remember having an adult coloring book, and just coloring so much. I wrote a lot. I baked a bit. The point here is, find something you love. Maybe you loved that thing as a kid. Maybe you’re just now learning to love it. Love it wholeheartedly and dive into it.

Work a program of some kind. Get outside of yourself for a moment in time, even if it’s just for an hour a day. Twelve-Step meetings and my sponsor really help me with this, in reconnecting with nature and the universe, in reconnecting with the world around me. I’m just one person in a vast universe—not the center of it.

Finally, make the most of your journey. Quitting drinking is just the beginning—it’s a myth that stopping your alcohol intake is what sobriety is really about. Sobriety is about serenity, making peace with yourself and others, and learning how to be human in a complicated world. Sobriety, in short, is learning how to live. How do you want to live your new life?

Please say hello in the comments, and consider sharing your sobriety story.

Thank you for sharing, Kat! We look forward to connecting with you in the comments.