My Sobriety Story with MaryBeth

“You are worthy of a big, beautiful life.”

This series showcases personal stories of addiction recovery and sobriety. Today’s edition features MaryBeth Murphy, a sober witch (Woman In Total Control of Herself). Since getting sober in 2016, MaryBeth has built a life rooted in truth, healing, and deep nervous system care through practices such as yoga, meditation, and embodied self-discovery. Her work and life are devoted to conscious living, fierce self-respect, and helping others remember that transformation is possible. Find her newsletter at Sacred Recovery.

When and how did you get sober?

I got sober on November 26, 2016. I had just finished a weekend away with my ex and broke my ankle while walking, distracted. Earlier, I had a flight of martinis at brunch and was texting and walking when it happened. We went to a bar and drank more (of course) as I iced it before our flight home to Boston.

When I returned home, I went to work the next day, still not seeking medical attention. I worked, walking up and down stairs with no ankle support. Did I mention I was a nurse? After work, I took myself to the orthopedic doctor. My ankle was extremely bruised, swollen, and painful. I was diagnosed with a fracture and was placed in a cast immediately.

What was the turning point in your decision to get sober?

During that time of immobility, reality sank in. Crutch walking was not easy for me to manage. My biggest concern was how do I crutch walk with my wine glass. I even went so far as to calculate another way: maybe I’ll have my kids fill my wine glass for me. I have four children, so if I ask each one once, no one will be the wiser. Then, of course, there would be the challenge of crutch walking tipsy.

That’s when the shame set in. Involving my children in my addiction was the last straw. Enough of this madness. I heard a soul whisper that said the gig was up. Are you going to take this opportunity to get out from under this thing, or are you going to keep going and spiral to oblivion?

It was going nowhere fast. That’s when I Googled “how do I get sober?” and found The 30 Day Sobriety Solution by Jack Canfield and Dave Andrews. I listened to the audio and read the book simultaneously since I’m an audio learner. I read a chapter a day, and it set me up for success. I can’t say enough about the very digestible and practical process they created.

What surprised you about getting sober?

My biggest surprise was discovering that a lot of people don’t drink. In my drinking days, I felt everyone drank. I couldn’t believe that life would be worth living without it.

After getting sober, I couldn’t believe all of the joys I had missed while drinking. Suddenly, the joys were just everywhere! The depressive cloak of alcohol in my system was lifted!

I’m also surprised that now alcohol is no longer an option for coping. The craving is GONE, ABSENT, NADA. I am aware, however, that one drink would set me right back down that dark and dreary path. I have no interest in challenging that belief. I’m surprised at the people who left my life, and I’m surprised at the beautiful souls who entered. I’ve learned the language of letting go. Letting go is a key act in maintaining sobriety.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve encountered on your alcohol-free journey?

My biggest challenge was finding methods to tend to my very sensitive nervous system. I used alcohol to manage difficult feelings. I had been drinking since I was 15 years old. I finally showed up to my emotional self after 35 years of drinking. I tended to her like it was my full-time job.

Yoga, meditation, acupressure, journaling, breathwork, creativity, getting my bare feet on the ground, nutrition, dance, movement, constellation work, and, most of all, my tribe are how I care for my nervous system. Oh, and “NO” is a complete sentence.

What are the biggest benefits or gifts of sobriety?

That’s easy and lengthy, but I’ll start with: finding myself. Loving myself. Surrounding myself with people who are interested in the same lifestyle. Setting boundaries like the boss woman I am. Driving sober. Vacationing sober. Eating better. Sleeping better. Presence in relationships. Dreaming bigger. Releasing victim consciousness. Gaining the strength to leave a toxic marriage. Setting an example for my children. Consciously grieving and embracing being a messy human without numbing. Living an authentic, true life while loving all of my parts, the light and the shadow.

What words of advice would you give someone who’s considering sobriety or newly sober?

If you’ve read this far and you are sober curious, this is what you need to know: you are worthy to give it a try. You are worthy of a big, beautiful life. Give yourself 30 days. If you can honestly say your life is worse after 30 days alcohol-free, then drinking will always be there for you to return to. It’s not going anywhere. It’s hard to drink, and it’s hard to stop drinking—pick your hard.

Please say hello in the comments, and consider sharing your sobriety story.

Thank you for sharing, MaryBeth! We look forward to connecting with you in the comments.