This series showcases personal stories of addiction recovery and sobriety. Today’s edition features Matt, a father, marketer, and Midwesterner. He founded Through Sober Eyes, a personal blog and content platform, to share his story, connect with others choosing an alcohol-free life, and write about the realities and gifts of sobriety. If you’re sober—or simply questioning your relationship with alcohol—he’d love to have you follow along on the journey.
When and how did you get sober?
My sobriety date is December 26, 2025—so I’m coming up on five months of continuous sobriety. I’ve had almost five years of sobriety in the past, but after I started drinking again, I thought I could manage it… until my addiction taught me, again, that I couldn’t.
After a hospital visit, I was sick, stuck, and scared. I knew that I needed to change my life, so I entered an inpatient treatment center on December 26, 2025.
What was the turning point in your decision to get sober?
From the first time I drank, alcohol did exactly what I thought it would do. It made me feel like other people looked. All of the shyness, worry, and awkwardness disappeared. I’d found the solution—or so I thought.
Over time, alcohol grew into something bigger than me. It ruined relationships, reputations, and driving records. Every time things got bad, I’d think, “Okay, let’s not do that next time.” But the next time was always worse.
I went to inpatient treatment in my early twenties but went back to drinking not long after. For far too long I ignored how much control alcohol had in my life. I told myself I just let it get out of hand now and then—not that it really controlled me. I’d swear it off for a few days, a week, maybe some months, but once the damage settled, the alcohol always returned.
At one point, through AA and sponsorship, I had almost five years sober. But I became complacent in recovery. I let things slip. I wasn’t staying connected. I was back to drinking, trying to convince everyone that either I wasn’t drinking or that it wasn’t a problem.
Eventually I got to the point where I didn’t really have a choice. Whether it was physical withdrawal or not, my brain had become rewired to pursue alcohol at all costs, without me realizing it. That realization was very scary.
The real turning point was when my kids started to lose trust in me and told me they were disappointed. I was physically present but not really engaged, and they could see it. I had become the man I never wanted to be.
I knew I had to change. I just wasn’t sure that I could. I had so many “I’ll start tomorrow” moments. I had every intention of not drinking, but I had reached the point where I couldn’t function without it—the proverbial “I couldn’t live with it, I couldn’t live without it.” It consumed every day. If I wasn’t drinking, I was planning it, recovering from it, or carrying the shame that came with it.
Life had to change. It was truly unmanageable, and I needed help.
I spent almost a month in an inpatient treatment center. That’s where my mind changed. Life had more to offer than self‑seeking and self‑sabotage. That’s when I decided I never wanted to feel that way again.
What surprised you about getting sober?
I was most surprised by how quickly serenity started to show up.
Drinking was my way of trying to control my feelings, ignore frustrations, and numb pain. But when I got sober, a shift happened. I realized pretty quickly what I could control and what I couldn’t.
I have control over the decisions I make, the people I connect with, and my attitude. I do not have control over how others feel, what they do, or the emotions they carry.
Knowing what “power” I actually have in my life helps me move through each day on purpose. It makes every day more manageable, because I know what I can affect—and what I can’t.
What’s the biggest challenge you’ve encountered on your alcohol-free journey?
The hardest part for me is moving on from the wreckage my drinking caused. Another let‑down, another broken promise, another “episode.” I try not to carry the shame of what I did, but the reminders of what life was like back then still creep in.
I’ve realized I can’t ignore the past or pretend it didn’t happen, but I also won’t let it define my character. Those things are not who I am at my core. At the same time, I did those things. I own them; I don’t deny them. They’re part of my story—but they won’t be the headline. The real story is being rewritten every day.
I’m constantly working to rebuild trust with my family and loved ones. It’s a slow process and there’s only so much I can control. I can’t make someone trust me again. All I can do is be honest—with them and with myself—and focus on doing “the next right thing.” I’ll never erase the past, but I will learn from it, and I will prove that I’m the man I’m intended to be.
What are the biggest benefits or gifts of sobriety?
The biggest benefit for me is the calm and peace that comes from sobriety.
When I was drinking, it wasn’t just the alcohol‑induced anxiety that crippled me. It was the constant worry that my life was going to implode. What if people found out? What if I got in trouble? What if I got really sick? The constant “what ifs” ran my days. I was always on edge, always hoping I wouldn’t be found out.
After getting through detox, an incredible calm started to settle into my days. No more hiding. No more running. Everyone knew. And one day at a time, it got better.
I could face each day with honesty and intention. The storm had finally started to quiet. My mornings now start with calm, peaceful meditation—not immediate panic about what the day will bring. I can be present for the people in my life. I can be brutally honest. I can feel emotions and work through them.
That feeling of peace is worth more than I can describe.
What words of advice would you give someone who’s considering sobriety or newly sober?
Don’t look at giving up alcohol as a loss. Look at everything you stand to gain.
There are a million opinions about recovery, but one thing holds true: when you remove alcohol from your life, it will get better. Alcohol is a poison wrapped in a perceived good time. It damages your body and your brain. It clouds your judgment. There’s no real positive outcome from drinking—just temporary numbness.
There will still be good days and bad days, happy days and sad days. But overall, things improve. Relationships mend. Sleep gets better. Your body starts to recover.
Don’t rush the process or expect everything to be fixed right away. Enjoy the journey, notice the small changes, and look forward to even more good things ahead.
Give yourself time—and let the good things happen.
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