The first time I got drunk, I was fifteen, cradling a Solo cup filled with whatever mishmash my friend had cobbled together from her parents’ liquor cabinet. I was too young to care about the taste, but I immediately understood the promise it held. I loved the way getting drunk dulled the sharp edges of…
What does the word “shame” bring up for you? I recall being told as a child, “Shame on you,” and I would immediately feel guilty for what I had done, bowing my head in submission. After being sternly spoken to or given a spanking, I would be sent to my room to “think about what…
How I met my husband, found love, and built a life without compromise I met my ex-husband in 2010 during graduate school, and we separated about ten years later. Before that, I had met people through mutual friends, at bars, or in school. When I became single at 32 with three boys under three, I…
How sobriety gave me the strength to create a healthier, more present life for myself and my kids By Winged Victory I used to feel trapped in the domesticity I had chosen, as though the walls of my life were closing in around me. I was a vibrant, active, loving wife and mom. Like many…
“I didn’t know how much actively using dulls one’s external expression of spirit.” This series showcases personal stories of addiction recovery and sobriety. Today’s edition features Grace Alexandra Hayden. Born and raised in Minnesota, Grace lives in Minneapolis with her three dogs, two daughters, and one feral cat. When not at a dog park or helping…
Recently, someone pointed out that “rage” is hidden in “courage.” Finding my rage, I discovered courage—the courage to be. I had already navigated rugged terrain to align with my true self, my emotional intelligence had grown (at least I had some now), and I was largely emotionally sober. For decades in recovery, I had no…
Navigating friendships in sobriety What will they think of me? Will people still be my friends? For too many years, this type of thinking kept me stuck in an unhealthy pattern of behavior, and I allowed myself to be controlled by the opinions of others. My entire life, I’ve worried about what others thought and…
37 years of growth, gratitude, and community I did not mean to get sober. However, over a couple of years, several friends strongly suggested to me that my drinking behavior was not normal, and they were concerned for me. I was not appreciative in the least of their concerns and thought their comments about my…
“Two cans of Tennent’s Super and a packet of neurodivergences, please.” It’s 1984. A world before the internet, Google, and ChatGPT. On one hand, innocent and simple. On the other, there’s me, a teenager, pretty messed up in the head, diagnosed with OCD at age 11 and then… nothing. Just the words, “OCD, next.” No…
From family shadows to personal recovery My mom and dad have been married 39 years and I’m the youngest of three. My brothers are close, both in age and confidence. Each preceded me by a decade and some change, so I guess you could call me a surprise. I was little, but I was perceptive….