Exploring the 11th Step from a Christian perspective
Like most newbies, I was encouraged to get on my knees and ask for help in the morning and, if I didn’t drink, do the same at night. That worked for a long time, but as the layers of the proverbial onion started to peel back and I continued behaving like a jackass a lot of the time in sobriety, I was encouraged to go deeper. A kill your ego operation.
Enter meditation and the practice of observing how consciousness works. In the Big Book of AA, the first half of the 11th step is written for the seekers who want to deepen their practice: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand him.”
It starts with the word “sought,” interestingly enough. Sought being past-tense for seek, as if your higher power—the one you may or may not believe in, but which already believes in you—is assuming you are going to figure this part out and believe.
You’ve already “sought” so, nice work. Sought what then? The practice of prayer and meditation. There is a lot of “practice” in this step. This is the rug pull of the Spiritual Journey. You practice the whole time.
What I know of meditation mostly comes from the East. Buddha, Dharma, mindfulness practice: it’s all derivative of Eastern religions. I’ve always been puzzled why the West doesn’t also have a meditation practice. It seems like a giant miss of Christianity not to deliver something that so many people are seeking.
It turns out they do.
(Record Scratch)
Wait, there’s a Christian meditation practice? Are you being serious?
Holy Jesus, Batman.
I know, right? It turns out Christianity has a meditation practice! It’s a mirror of Eastern practice and called Centering Prayer. My sponsee Tim gave me this book, and I’ve been giving it a go. The book is by Thomas Keating and it teaches the practice of this prayer—the “prayer” being a mindfulness practice for learning how to become an observer of your consciousness. Just like the Buddha.
The skill, the practice of becoming the “watcher” of your own thoughts, is the first part of the 11th step. It is the skill for the seeker to become the sought.
As I’m reading this book and practicing the prayer, I keep thinking: Why don’t Christian churches have this once a week? What are y’all doing? Seems like a layup to bring newbies in the door.
I’ve been to enough churches to wonder: How have I never heard of this? How has no church I’ve been to had a contemplative prayer practice?
Turns out they do! I ran into folks at a sobriety festival who had a slate of these practices and the following was growing:
Prayer Meets Meditation
The practice uses a sacred word instead of focusing on the breath. “Stillness” is the word I chose. It’s used as the “come back here” point when your mind wanders.
So far, so good. My experience with the Christian church is that my grandparents and parents were always in a church choir so we went to watch them sing. No one ever made us do anything in the church, but there is something comforting about a meditation practice that has a backbone of familiarity.
I also like how, in order for the mediation practice to be most effective, you have to solve the “egomaniac” and “inferiority” complexes. It’s one of the early hurdles on the way to “Soughtsville.” The first tells you that “you are superior” because you meditate and look at the rest of the heathens who don’t. The other tells you “you suck” and you’re meditating all wrong. Egomania and Inferiority.
Keating solves these dilemmas in a way I find satisfying. To the ego, he says we are meditating not for ourselves but because this is what our Higher Power wants us to do. The one you Sought wants you to empty your head as much as possible for 20 minutes twice a day so you can get in touch with divine love. You’re not practicing for you, you’re doing it for HP.
The part where you suck? Again, you’re meditating to serve others, including your family and community. By practicing this prayer, you will be better at serving those who mean the most to you. Alrighty then!
I also like the idea that we are “sitting in God.” Put another way, God is already here and this prayer gives expression to being conscious of that. This prayer or meditation has a Christian divine love vibration that feels aligned for me.
So, we have a practice where the 12 Steps, Buddhism, and Christianity align! Emptying my head for 20 minutes twice a day and developing the skill of observing my consciousness is a practice in accepting reality, pausing before reacting, and doing the next right thing.
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