What We Actually Want When People Gift Booze

Open thread, share your thoughts! 💬

You know how people will sometimes gift bottles of wine over the holidays? And how, if you don’t drink, you might have a little voice in the back of your head saying, Oh man! Why not some nice tea, or a candle, or a gift card to a bookstore or coffee shop?

This week on Substack Notes, I invited folks to share small gift ideas as alternatives to defaulting to booze:

As someone who doesn’t drink, what would you love to receive?

You’ll find the responses below, along with links to each writer’s profile and publication if you’d like to explore more sober writing and connect with kindred community.

We’d love to hear from you too! Please share your alcohol-free gift ideas in the comments (and maybe share this post to spread awareness that we’re not all drinking, and we don’t all want wine).

“My preferred gifts are a bag of dark roast coffee, Earl Gray tea, bookmarks, a literary themed mug, and other reading adjacent gifts. Books are always great too.” —Matthew Long⚓, Beyond the Bookshelf

“NA beer and gift card to do my fav hobby 💅🏽” —Tawny Lara, Beyond Liquid Courage

“I was once gifted a homemade Irish bread and it came with a gorgeously decorated index card that contained the recipe/ingredients along with a short note as to why the recipe is important to their family / the blessing within it for the New Year. I love the idea of exchanging recipes that have stories behind them.” —Allison Deraney, DARE TO BE

“I sure like a nice little pen and journal, no matter how many I get! ❤️✍️” —Kristen Crocker, Recoverettes

“People stopped buying me alcohol long ago. I don’t think they wanted any hand in the inevitable chaos. But folk still buy my partner wine, who also doesn’t drink, but for far less destructive reasons. She’ll keep hold of it and repurpose it to someone else who’ll appreciate it. Sometimes I’ll spot where it’s half-hidden. Not that she doesn’t trust me, but I guess just respectfully keeping it out of my face.

What do I want? Simply… books. Old ones. Ancient wisdom. But if you’re all chipping in, then a Gibson Slash Les Paul Standard.” —Adam PT, Rehabitus®

“Last year my niece gave me a Lego and I had so much fun with it! But for hostess gifts I would go for specialty spice blends, unique teas, artisan cheese, or high quality oils and vinegars.” —Kristi Brockschmidt

“It’s funny you mention this. Seriously, one of my favorite holiday gifts is to regift the wine bottles I’ve been given by others. 🤷🏻‍♂️ I’ve been regifting bottles for two years that Ann and I collected for our nuptials—obviously from folks who weren’t aware that we have nearly 60 years sober between us—or simply too lazy to try harder.

My favorite gifts for good friends are gift certificates to good restaurants that they’d otherwise maybe not go to.” —Dee Rambeau, Of a Sober Mind

“I love receiving fancy snacks and teas that I wouldn’t usually buy myself! In the UK we have Pukka tea and Teapigs which I love. I always ask for books but I really need to read all the ones I have before receiving more… But people keep writing such amazing books!!

I LOVE the idea of receiving something homemade – something baked, or a little craft someone has made. I would be so delighted to receive that.

Having said all that, my birthday is Christmas Eve and I find gifts at Christmas and my birthday overwhelming so I have asked most people to not get me birthday gifts this year because I really don’t need anything and it’s just too much! I just want to spend time with people :)” —Ellie Nova, A Little Fantastic Sober Life

“A few things I’ve received (since I’m sober) that have been very meaningful to me:

one person brought me three small containers of different kinds of salt. Like a salt flight. And two of the salts have become staples in my home. So simple. So thoughtful. So useful.

one person brought me a loaf of bread they had baked that day. It was so delicious and I’ll always remember that.

another person brought me a really nice quality of vanilla bean paste. They knew I’d never spend that much money on vanilla, and I thoroughly enjoyed using it.

another person brought me three little stones in a velvet pouch… each stone with a word engraved: love, peace, joy. I still have those stones all these years later, and think of the person who gave them to me every time I come across them (usually while dusting… 🤣 but still, with appreciation). (I don’t usually like an accumulation of “stuff” but I have a place for all the little “stuff” that people gift… like a little sanctuary of warm thoughts… and it’s contained and small.)

Oh!!! And really nice quality dark chocolate.” —Steve, ∞actualinfinity

“I’d be absolutely delighted to receive: organic green tea, fancy sea salt, local honey, a bookstore gift card (even $5), very dark chocolate.” —Dr. Dana Leigh Lyons, DTCM, PERFECT HUNGER™

What are your alcohol-free gift ideas? Please share in the comments!

And before you go, would you take a second to tap that little heart? It lets others know there’s something helpful here and grows our sober community.