How To Get Help For Your Alcoholic Spouse

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You Can’t “Save” Your Alcoholic Spouse

A husband or wife addicted to alcohol frequently blames their spouse for their addiction. But you can’t really “drive someone to drink.” A complex combination of biological and emotional factors leads to addiction, not the behavior or actions of another person.

While you can support your spouse with the process of getting help, it’s important to realize that you can’t make them stop drinking. You can’t save them from the consequences of drinking, either.

Often, a partner tries to help by keeping life running as normally as possible – covering the addiction or bailing out the alcoholic in difficult situations. But that’s called “enabling,” and doesn’t place responsibility for the dysfunction where it belongs. The first step toward helping an addicted spouse is to stop protecting them from the consequences of their own actions.

You Can Empower Yourself

Alcoholic Spouse — The first step in helping your spouse is to stop enabling their behavior.

A partner’s alcohol addiction can suck you in before you realize it, leaving you vulnerable in many ways. A wife who depends on her alcoholic husband to earn a living and take care of all the bills can find herself devastated when he loses his job or fails to make major payments. A husband who worries constantly about his wife’s binge drinking while he’s at work may find his performance suffering. It’s essential to take charge of your own life and separate yourself from the partner’s alcoholism.

Empowering yourself in the face of a partner’s addiction to alcohol could include things like:

Learning about addiction
Finding new ways to manage finances
Creating an “escape plan” if the situation gets worse
Taking better care of your health
Finding a support group for people in your situation

You Don’t Need to Do It Alone

One way spouses enable addicts is by keeping their addiction secret. So, it can be extremely hard to tell others about what’s happening. However, talking to other family members and friends can help you gain perspective and brainstorm ways to encourage the addicted person to seek help.

Turning to professionals, such as couples counselors and support groups, can help, too. You can learn from others’ experiences, find resources and build a network of support for both yourself and your alcoholic spouse.

5 Keys to Understanding Your Alcoholic Spouse

If your spouse is addicted to alcohol, it’s important to understand what alcoholism entails and how you can help them without enabling their behavior.

Offer Honest Support

Helping your alcoholic spouse begins with honesty. Find a time when they aren’t drinking to discuss your concerns calmly. Offer specific help, such as driving them to meet with a counselor or visit a rehab program. Without issuing ultimatums, state the consequences if they continue to drink, such as,“ I won’t bail you out of jail anymore,” or “If you’re too hungover to go to work, I won’t call your boss and say you’re sick.” Focus on what you will do, not what you want them to do.

While it’s important to talk with your spouse, it’s also essential to feel safe. Be sure that you have an ‘escape route’ and someone to call if your partner becomes angry or abusive.

Good people can have bad addictions – and getting help for your alcoholic spouse can be the first step toward rebuilding your life together. Are you struggling with your partner’s alcoholism? Are you looking for ways to help them recover? We’re just a phone call away. Contact us at 800-948-8417 Sponsored for the answers you need today.