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When I started my journey with Alcoholic Anonymous, I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was my first time going through the program, and I didn’t really want to be there.
However, I didn’t have a choice. I had gotten caught driving under the influence, and the courts ordered me to attend as part of my sentence.
But at my first meeting, as I listened to others speak, I realized I had to try. Otherwise, I would be stuck in turmoil forever.
Eventually, I realized what a huge benefit the program was for me. Especially one step in particular: step five.
This step asks participants to “admi[t] to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
While it sounds like a simple chore, it actually turned out to be one of the most important parts of my recovery.
Helped Me Realize My Mistakes
At first, I wasn’t quite sure what “wrongs” I had committed. Did they really want to hear about the time I was 10 years old and shoplifted a pack of gum from the store?
As it turns out, no.
Instead, my sponsor asked me to focus on character defects, such as:
- Greed
- Jealousy
- Self-pity
- Impulsiveness
- Selfishness
- Arrogance
- Meanness
- Resentment
After he read me this list of bad qualities, I began to realize that I embodied quite a few of them. I bet you do too.
Helped Me Vow to Never Make These Mistakes Again
Realizing that I had been such a terrible person the past few years wasn’t fun.
In fact, it felt downright horrible. How could I have transformed into this vile and unrecognizable human being?
While it did help to know that it was the alcohol that had contributed to my behavior, it still wasn’t a good excuse.
In fact, it kind of depressed me for a few days. Luckily though, I had the support of my sponsor as well as the specialists on this site.
If you need a little encouragement at this stage, I would recommend call them at 800-948-8417 Sponsored for help.
In the end, all of this sadness transformed into a fervent desire to never be this sort of person ever again.
Helped Me Feel Forgiven
Overall, my favorite part of step five? It helped me feel forgiven.
I know that, at that point, I hadn’t done anything to make up for my mistakes. The people I hurt hadn’t heard my apologies.
However, simply getting all of that turmoil and hurt off of my chest felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.
It made me feel free. Unburdened.
By confessing my wrongs to myself, my sponsor, and God, I was able to see the good part of me underneath it all.
For so long, my bad behavior had been hiding who I was. But finally, like a phoenix, I could arise from the ashes of my destruction.
Singed, yes. But still in one piece.
If you’re ready to release the burden of alcoholism, I urge you to join Alcoholic Anonymous.
While step five was my favorite part, I promise you that the other steps are equally as helpful.
For more assistance finding a group that meets near you, just call 800-948-8417 Sponsored to learn more.
References:
https://www.ivcc.edu/uploadedFiles/_faculty/_mangold/12%20Steps%20of%20AA.pdf
http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/ProjectMatch/match01.pdf