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Al-Anon is a 12-step support group for the families of people with alcoholism. You can attend Al-Anon meetings even if the alcoholic in your family is not in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). The sense of community, family, and understanding helps many families cope with the stresses of having a family member who is struggling with this disease.
The goal of Al-Anon is to get you out of the traditional role of victim or enabler and help you move toward a better future. Many people wonder what happens in these meetings. Let’s take a look at what you can expect when you attend.
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The Start of the Meeting
Al-Anon and other 12 step meetings usually start on time. Very rarely do they start late. Schedule and routine are important to the average Al-Anon or AA member.
The person who has agreed to be the chair or leader of the meeting will call the meeting to order. They will also ask if there are any new or out-of-town members so they can welcome them to the group. New members might receive hugs and “keep coming back” chips.
The chair will usually lead the group in the Serenity Prayer. This is a standard prayer for most of the AA groups, including Al-Anon and Alateen. The chair may also recite the 12 steps and 12 traditions.
The Middle of the Meeting
What happens after the prayer depends on the type of meeting.
The different types of Al-Anon meetings include:
- Open meetings: Anyone is welcome in these meetings, including therapists, students, and friends. These meetings usually have a topic that the chair opens for discussion after the welcome and Serenity Prayer. In an open meeting, most people are aware that others might be there, so sharing may be limited.
- Closed meetings: These meetings are for Al-Anon members only. After the prayer, the chair introduces a topic and everyone shares their thoughts.
- Step meetings: In step meetings, the topic covers one of the 12 steps of AA. Everyone shares their thoughts on the step in question. These meetings can help you understand the overall Al-Anon philosophy.
- Speaker meetings: In this type of meeting, no one shares except the speaker. The speaker tells their whole story in the hopes that others gain insight and perspective from it. This allows you to hear and learn from the struggles of others.
- Beginner meetings: These meetings are for welcoming newcomers. There is no specific sharing as there is in normal meetings. Instead, there is “crosstalk.” People have conversations, and it allows newcomers to learn about the basic principles in a warm, inviting atmosphere.
Remember that beginners are welcome to any meeting in any format. The different formats are not meant to discourage people from going to meetings. You don’t have to wait for a beginner meeting to attend.
Ending of an Al-Anon Meeting
At the end of an Al-Anon meeting, the chairperson either reads or makes closing remarks. There might also be a closing prayer.
After the meeting, most people enjoy snacks and conversation with each other. The majority of the meetings end exactly on time. Most people are friendly and will answer any questions about the meeting that you might have.
Speaking at a Meeting
Most people initially fear speaking at the meetings. All of the publicity behind AA and 12 step programs shows people sharing their stories and talking to the group.
This is not always the case. You are not pressured to share. Although the group takes turns sharing, you do not have to. There is no requirement that you speak. All you have to say is your first name and that you just want to listen.
One of the biggest benefits of Al-Anon is that you are with people who have been there. Not only do they know what you are going through, but they also know what it is like to attend a first meeting. They’ll welcome you and help relieve any pressure you might be feeling.
Who Benefits from Al-Anon Meetings?
It is obvious who attends and benefits from AA meetings, but with Al-Anon, it is not so clear-cut.
Those who most benefit are people with these relationships to someone with alcohol use disorder:
- Spouses
- Parents
- Adult children
- Close friends
Anyone who needs help dealing with someone else’s alcohol use will benefit from attending Al-Anon meetings. These meetings provide help, hope, and community to those who are in need due to another person’s alcoholism.
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Finding and Attending a Meeting
Al-Anon meetings are relatively easy to find. Most churches have a chapter of Al-Anon as do most community centers.
The meetings are posted on bulletin boards, the internet, in flyers, and in most counseling offices. Many rehab facilities also offer Al-Anon meetings for the family members of their patients.
Family and friends who attend community based support groups such as Al-Anon are better equipped to handle problems with alcoholism. Taking the first step toward attending a meeting might encourage the person in your life to seek treatment themselves.
If they’re ready for help, Sober.com offers an online directory of AA meetings across the country, so you can quickly find one in your area.
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