How Can I Help My Spouse Understand AA?

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Why Is Support From a Significant Other Important?

Studies suggest that those close to you have the most influence in long-term recovery and that there is a correlation between family dynamics and abstinence from alcohol. The level of support you receive during your recovery journey can impact your relationships and long-term sobriety.

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How Can My Spouse Get Involved in AA?

You may decide to attend some AA meetings with your significant other. AA meetings that are designated as “open” allow anyone to attend, including spouses, significant others, domestic partners, and other family members affected by an alcohol use disorder or who want to learn more information.

The goal of open meetings is to further attendees’ understanding of Alcoholics Anonymous.

At the meeting, your significant other can expect an opening with a moment of silence and the Serenity Prayer, followed by introductions, readings, and sharing of stories. Your partner will discover how AA gives you a higher chance of recovery success. They can learn how working the 12 Steps and attending meetings helps you maintain abstinence from alcohol. They can also get information on other types of support.

Your significant other can also attend Alcoholics Anonymous Family Groups (Al-Anon). Al-Anon is a group for family and friends of a person with alcohol use disorder. You would not attend Al-Anon with your spouse or partner.

Al-Anon is a place where your loved one can learn to:

Improve their personal health and well-being
Increase their self-esteem
Improve their attitude toward recovery and the future
Improve coping skills
Decrease mental health symptoms like depression and anxiety
Decrease negative emotions like guilt, shame, and stress
Improve satisfaction in life

Your significant other can attend both AA and Al-Anon meetings to learn more about the principles of AA, learn how they can support you, learn how to process their own complex emotions, and empower you to progress in your relationship as a couple.

How Can My Spouse Be Involved Outside of AA Meetings?

AA has published many pieces of literature and offers many activities outside of meetings to provide educational information and to allow for many different kinds of participation.

AA Literature

One valuable resource for AA information is The “Big Book.” This is a nickname for Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism.

The Big Book addresses everyone who is affected by drinking. It helps the whole family participate in the recovery. It is an example of how sharing recovery experiences encourages others. It also discusses the importance of a higher power and gives guidelines to help you maintain abstinence for the rest of your life.

Other resources that provide insight into AA, its history, and its effect on the lives of many in recovery include:

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions: Explains the principles of AA and how group unity contributes to success
Daily Reflections: Written by members of AA and used for inspiration and encouragement
Came to Believe: A book of stories that provides member perspectives of spiritual awakening

AA Activities

While available activities vary by region, many branches of AA hold open and public activities regularly, such as annual fundraisers and monthly get-to-know-you events. Include your loved one in activities, such as:

Providing service to others through organized community volunteering efforts
Seeking and participating in AA-specific community-based activities
Attending AA conferences
Volunteering at AA events, such as fundraisers

Treatment Services to Help Partners Understand Recovery

AA meetings, especially step meetings, are often used as complementary or supplemental elements of alcohol addiction treatment.

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Couple’s Counseling

If you decide to see a couple’s counselor, you may choose to meet with a clinician who incorporates 12-step principles and has experience with AA. They can create a treatment plan for you and your partner that increases their knowledge of AA and is informed by your involvement with the program.

A counselor may help you choose other relevant 12-step fellowships to attend. There are many groups modeled on the 12 Steps of AA, including ones that focus on topics like:

Codependency
Pharmacotherapy
Gambling
Mental illness
Spirituality
Co-occurring conditions

A counselor can help heal your whole relationship, not just issues directly related to alcohol use.

Recovery Education Groups

Recovery education groups cover a variety of addiction-related topics and can be intended for a range of audiences. Education groups may cover:

The disease model of addiction
How to spot relapse behaviors
Enabling behaviors
Codependent behaviors

Groups often have experts who provide lectures, hold group discussions, and participate in exercises to increase participants’ understanding of recovery.

Individual Counseling

A substance use counselor can provide individual counseling to your partner. They can also help them identify relationship patterns that may need to change to support your recovery and repair the relationship.

A counselor can help your significant other understand:

What to expect during various recovery stages
How to identify and build upon relationship strengths
The importance and practice of self-care

Couples’ Recovery Retreats

At a couples’ recovery retreat, you and your partner can spend a weekend learning to rebuild your relationship now that you are in recovery. You can learn to improve communication, trust, forgiveness, and many other essential factors that support your recovery.

SMART Recovery Tools

SMART stands for Self-Management and Recovery Training. It’s a program to help people in recovery, but it also has a supplemental program to help significant others. SMART Recovery is an online program that offers your partner access to family and friend groups, reading materials, and podcasts that help them understand and support your recovery.

Working Through AA With Your Spouse

Your partner or significant other can start learning more about recovery and the importance of AA today, and you can help. Direct them to the right resources and walk with them in their journey so they can be there for yours.

For information on getting treatment for an alcohol use disorder for you or a loved one, call 800-948-8417 Sponsored today.